We have all heard this at one time or another "train a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6). How many of us who are adults follow the training that we received from our parents?
My mother have often said to me "experience is a hard teacher" from what I've learned from my experiences in my life that very phrase is true of most mature adults. Our experiences as parents in raising our children is trying to provide something better than what we experience as children. It becomes a drive that often times is not successful because children can be unpredictable when they don't follow our instructions. We are often disappointed putting more stress and pressure on them that may be unrealistic to attain.
The primary purpose of parents is to develop character in our children. Character that is properly developed in a child help them to understand and respect boundaries, consequences also respect for authority. If they don't respect authority at home they will not know how to deal with it in society, that is evident with what we see today of children that are very young in the system.
We live in a instant society and raising children is not like instant coffee you can't just pour water over them and think that you can make them the way you want. They have to be developed patiently with a lot of love, tears sometimes, and sacrifice. That is why it says "train them up...." As parents we can affect our child's behavior considerably
· Lack of love and acceptance of the child.
· Not requiring child responsibility.
· Lack of attention.
· Sibling favoritism.
· Lack of proper discipline.
· Too much permissiveness.
· Lack of security and boundaries.
· Parental inconsistancies or dishonesty.
· Inappropiate child/parent relationships.
These learned behaviors are part of a cultivated family system which is devoped from traditional methods of upbringing. Shaping a child's character requires parents to change learn behaviors and traditional methods of how their parents raised them. However, for discipline to be effective there will have to be some form of suffering and pain, but it does not mean that parents have the right to abuse their children mentally, physically or verbally.